So… Failure in the kitchen makes me horrifically sad.  I nearly start to cry and Boyfriend always has to steal whatever I have deemed unacceptable away from me so I don’t throw it out in a fit of anger.  Most of the time these failures can be attributed to one of two things 1) I got sloppy and missed a step or 2) I was hurrying and just didn’t wait properly.  This failure falls into the didn’t wait category.

When I got home from work and saw that I had missed a UPS package I immediately called them and asked the UPS office to hold it, in the distribution center down the street for pick-up the next day.  Then I googled ice cream recipes for 10 hours, custard, sorbets, fro-yos, sorbettos, gelatos, you name it I was obsessively searching for it on google as a break in for my new Ice Cream Maker attachment for the KitchenAid (otherwise known as Esther).  I found four to try and printed them out for later and trekked home in a downpour.  Did you know there are 3 UPS buildings in a 1 block radius in Watertown?  Neither did I.   I had to go to all of them before finding my ice cream maker and heading home with it to freeze.

Now: Day 2 Ice Cream Maker is frozen and I can’t find the Ice cream recipes I so carefully weeded through – ANYWHERE.  They’re gone the way of the cooler temperatures so I’ll use the one from the KitchenAid book that came with it, it can’t be that bad right?  And you know in all fairness to the KitchenAid people – it probably wasn’t, the custard base tasted fine and the berries were delicious (like a big kid slushpuppy glazed in Chambord).  But I couldn’t wait and poured the STILL STEAMING custard into the nicely frozen ice cream maker.  Failure.  SO.MUCH.FAILURE.  I turned it on and went to watch 30Rock, nothing happened but some sweat peeing onto the counter.  Sadness.

The next morning it was full of shard of ice – like it had melted and refrozen all wrong.  The worst experience ever with ice cream.  Maybe take two will be better?  Keep your fingers crossed for me because those stillettos of ice were just not pleasant melting in my mouth.  Not at all.

Custard Ice Cream with Mixed Berries
Note: I’m sure with patience I can actually make this ice cream.  Now if I only knew where I had put that down.

Mixed Berry Mash
2 cups mixed berries, I used raspberries, blueberries, and strawberries
2 Tbs of your favorite liquor or brandy (I used Chambord and it tasted EXACTLY like a blue slush puppy)

Mix the berries together in a bowl with the liquor and mash them a bit with a masher so they’re all about he same size and some of the juice has been a little pressed out.

Custard Ice Cream Base
2 1/2 cups half and half
8 Egg Yolks
1 cup sugar (I used 2/3 cup)
2 1/2 cups whipping cream
4 tsp Vanilla
1/8 tsp salt

In a saucepan heat the half and half to just bubbling – stirring often to keep it from scalding.
Mix the sugar and egg yolks together in a medium bowl stirring until they’re thick and ribbony, about 2 minutes of mixing by hand.  Mix in the half and half to the eggs and sugar slowly while continuing to stir to keep the eggs from scrambling.  Stir the whole thing until it has set and is a light yellow color.  Return the egg, sugar, and half and half mixture to the pan and bring to a second simmer stirring constantly until it starts to lightly bubble on the edges – DO NOT BOIL IT. Put the hot custard base back into your mixing bowl and gently stir in the vanilla, salt and cream.  Cover and do what I was too impatient to do and CHILL IT.  Watch a movie, have a nap, go to bed then make breakfast.  AFTER cooling put the chilled custard in the bowl of your ice cream maker and follow the instructions.  Add the mixed berries at the very very end just in the last two or three twirls of the ice cream maker.  And there it is.  I hope you have better luck than I did.